parenting help- foreclosure- stop foreclosure- personal finances- financial freedom

Cheryl Hall

Foreclosures are on the rise. The predictions are that 2006 will beat all previous years? foreclosure numbers with approximately 450,000 foreclosures nationwide. That?s a lot of people who feel they are failing in their personal finances. That many foreclosures means to me that there are many people out there who are in credit hell rather than financial freedom. Worse yet, out of 450,000 foreclosures, the majority of those cases are parents with children who now have a doubly heavy burden.

What do you do when foreclosure is the next step for your family? How do you keep a sense of normalcy and safety in an abnormal and scary situation?

The first step in any situation that requires change, especially for your children is to have a plan. Until you have a clear, concise plan of action with regards to your foreclosure, why even burden your children with the details? It?s just going to scare them having bits and pieces of information. You need a whole picture before you know what to tell them. Start on your plan now. The longer you wait, the fewer your options. If you are still in the ?pre-foreclosure? stage, where your mortgage company has filed papers with their intent to foreclose, you have a redemption period where anything can happen. You can redeem your current mortgage, you can find alternate financing, you can sell your house, and I?m sure that you?ll be approached by numerous companies and investors who have different possible solutions for you.

Pick one. Sure, you might want to keep everything the way it is, but that?s not reality, is it? Doing nothing is the surest way to lose everything; be proactive. Decide upon a course of action and then, unless you win the lottery or a clearly better alternative presents itself, stick with your plan.

Then present the plan to your children. Be clear, concise, don?t lie, but don?t add unnecessary details that make an already emotional situation more emotional. There would be no point in adding, ?we have to move?.and you?re never going to see your friends again.? No matter how disappointed or guilty you?re feeling, this is one of those moments where you?re going to have to rise up and look at change as a positive thing and stress those positive items.

For example, if you?re going to be moving to an apartment building, there are sure to be a lot of other children in close proximity. Think of all the new friends your child could be making. If you?re moving in with relatives, they?ll get to spend more time with their family.

If your plan involves 2 steps, perhaps you?ll be moving in with friends temporarily and in 6 months, you hope to rent another house; keep those two different moves separate. In fact, those are two different talks and you should deal with the first move head on and leave ?hopefully? plans for later. Who knows what might happen between then and now, and in the meantime, you have a child who has already moved once and would rather not get attached to anything and have to say good-bye again. This can cause all kinds of emotional problems and problems in school. Don?t spring any surprises on anyone, but don?t get ahead of yourself. One step at a time is a good way to keep everyone calm.

Now you?ve got your plan together and you?ve shared it, the next step is in realizing that there will also be changes in your money management. There has to be; there?s no way around it. You simply can?t continue with the same money thinking and money habits. This will mean that whatever spending habits your family is currently used to must change as well.

This does not have to be a negative though. In fact, learning how to prioritize is a positive and as a parent, you?ve been given the role as the teacher of all things money related to your children. Also, what you find important enough to spend money on tells your children how important it truly is, so this is an opportunity for you to reiterate your family values on a deeper level.

Give your children the opportunity to have some say so on the family finances. Having all these changes thrown at them without regard to their opinion is what causes the whining, pouting, lousy attitude and the fights. Your children have an advantage over you when it comes to this situation; they are not as emotionally attached to the outcome of the finances as you are. They still see no shame, they don?t feel that they have personally failed and they don?t have years and years of poor money management working against them. Their fresh, creative perspective could be just what is needed to pull this family out of a dire situation.

Make the family finances something you actually do with the family.

Finally, remember that this is just a stage. It is a temporary thing and normalcy and safety will return. When it does, the most important thing you can do is use what you?ve learned to prevent this from every happening again. You need to invest time in learning about money. How else can you ever expect to be good at it? Do your due diligence and accept that you weren?t born with money skills and the only people who taught you anything about money were your parents; then get some great books or take a class and really learn something.

Parenting can be a tough job even when things are going smoothly. Add a crisis in the mix, and you?ve got the potential for disaster; but if you have a plan, stick with the plan, are honest about your finances and are willing to work to get to a better place, you can use this opportunity to inspire your children. Show them early on that foreclosure or other financial problems can be avoided and your financial freedom can begin right now, with the right education and the right attitude.

Posted in Mortgage